Tears to Smiles...

(http://forums.adventchildren.net/showthread.php?t=39345)

tear² (tîr)

1. A drop of the clear salty liquid that is secreted by the lachrymal gland of the eye to lubricate the surface between the eyeball and eyelid and to wash away irritants. (www.answers.com)

Why don't people like to cry? I know for me it is a sign of weakness. It is me being vulnerable when I don't want to be. Usually crying comes from a hurt. And really who likes to be hurt?

Towards the beginning of last week I had to ask a friend to be brutally honest with me and tell me where our relationship stood. This was something that had been in the back of my mind nagging me for a while. But finally I decided that I deserve to know so that I can move on with me life. See I guess in my heart I knew where things stood with us. I was just hoping that maybe I was wrong just this once ;-) But just as I had long suspected, our relationship is just a friendship and that's ok.

I had to go to California 2 weeks ago for a week of fun in the sun. OK really it was for training for one of our new instruments. But it was beautiful there. Sunny everyday and 75 degrees and upwards. I met a lot of cool people, most of them being crazy MTs. I guess we all have to have a certain degree of craziness to be in the profession that we're in. I met a guy from Toronto and we went to a hockey game one night with another guy and it was fun!! I had never been to a hockey game before so the guys were trying to explain it to me which was pretty funny. On Friday morning while I was eating my breakfast bar in bed, there was a knock on my door. As I opened it, I saw the guy from Toronto standing there with a huge smile on his face and when I asked what he was doing he responded with "I had to see you. I had to say goodbye". To which my heart melted a little and my response was "Awwww"....hahha...I guess just that little interaction got me thinking...why am I not out there meeting people? Fear. That's it. That's the bottom line. And also the attachment that I had with someone was holding me back. I guess that's what spurred me on to ask that tough question. But also remembering that interaction in Cali helps me to know that I should be having those heart melting moments.

So my tears have turned to smiles and I know that I am strong enough to get through this. I mean heck if I can get through Class V rapids, I can conquer the world!! OK...maybe not the world...but I can conquer some stuff ;-)

May God smile upon you and turn your tears and fears into smiles and confidence!