Bleeding Heart

If this picture was inside my body...that's what you'd see. My heart has been in a lot of pain today. Not for one particular reason or another, but for many reasons. I called my mom on the way to work to just get my mind off the fact that I couldn't stop crying. However, that didn't work so well because I just kept crying. She kept saying "you better get it together before you get to work". And I'd laugh and tears would fall some more.

Over the past few days I've had some random but good conversations with people. In one of them I was told that I run away and give up on relationships too quickly. In another I was told that I think about some things too much and other things not enough. And also that I think too far into the future. So the thoughts started piling up and just left me feeling just really sad. I don't know why. I have some thoughts that I'm not willing to put out here but you get the general idea. And on the way home from work I was listening to my new favorite song(see below) and started the whole crying thing again...annoying!!

I know God wants me to be alone...but I just want to feel that rush....I want to feel loved by a guy who thinks the world of me...I just have to be patient and wait...but sometimes it's a little more than my heart can handle...

"Love is a Marathon" by Teddy Geiger

You love to run
Into the arms Of anyone
Take off your shoes and socks
And stay awhile
You like the adrenaline rush
Just a little too much
You go from day to day
Hand to mouth
And wonder why You're unsatisfied

[Chorus]
Cause love is a marathon
That's why you get tired so fast of everyone
Slow down and pace yourself
Cause when it's good
It's a long open road

You think still
You'll find a soul behind a thrill
You're just a cat chasing your tail
Round and round
What if you relax
Something might last

[Chorus]

You're exhausted always coming down
Trying to come up for air
Trying to act like you just don't care
La da da, de da da

[Chorus]