Week of Crap

Today began the week of crap. It started out pretty ok. The weekend was awesome and hanging out with my friends just makes my heart happy. But today....today was utter crap. I was glad to be able to spend time with my grandparents and to help them out. I became worried at the doctor's office when he said he wanted to admit my grandpa to the hospital to get rid of his infection quicker. But being in the career I'm in, I understood and knew that was the better option. After getting into the E.R. at NWCH, I waited with them for about an hour and a half. Something I totally didn't mind doing. Then I had to leave and get ready for work. I hated to leave my grandparents just waiting for a bed. But they understood. I got to work and around 10pm called my mom to see how things were going. After hearing that the pharmacy took 5 hrs to get my grandpa some ointment, I started to get a little uneasy and thought about our patients at the hospital. Wondering if that would happen at my hospital.

11:15pm rolled around and I finally clocked out and got ready to leave. As I was walking out to my car with Tammy, I looked and said "Is my window broken?". As we approached my car slowly and carefully, I soon realized that my beloved baby had been broken into. The passenger window had a huge whole in it and as I peered in, I saw that my stereo, a birthday present from my brother, was gone. My dashboard torn apart, and everything that I had in my car and in the glove boxes was strewn about. My heart broke at that moment and so did my patience. I couldn't get ahold of our security so I called 911. A kind Libertyville police officer arrived and we looked at the damage being careful to not touch anything. He called the CSI guy to see if they could pull any prints. But no luck there because all the prints were smudged. And most of them were probably from passengers that I know. As I watched the two officers take pictures of the damage, I got out and was allowed to open the doors to check for more missing items. The thing that put me over the edge was that my cd case that holds about 200+ cds was gone. I opened the tailgate to find that the boxes that I had from camp were gone. One of the boxes contained some prizes that didn't get used at camp, like the flip flop notepads. But they left my blankets and the legos, my GAP scarf, my turtle, and sombrero. How kind of them. I am still in shock and just feeling overwhelmed and saddened by the whole scenerio. I don't know how much this will cost but knowing that all my cds are gone breaks my heart. I love music. It spurs me on and keeps me going. Music is always on my mind and in my heart. I typically don't burn cds unless it's a mix, and knowing that I have had such a huge investment literally ripped from my hands hurts. Knowing that all the mixes I had are gone makes me sad. Knowing that no one saw this happening makes me sad. Knowing that our security guards were watching a psych patient all night and not roaming the parking lots like they should be pisses me off. One of the first few phone calls I will make tomorrow will be to the head of security at the hospital. And he will get an ear-full from me. The security guards couldn't even give the officer an estimate as to when the last time they drove by my car was.

So going into this week is sad enough as it is. Knowing and recounting last year at this time every day. Remembering how excited I was to be going to Mexico to help Megan move down, only to realize that there was no way I could leave under the circumstances. And remembering the phone calls I made and received and just the lack of control and panic. And then pain. Thursday (pending that my car is fixed), I will spend the morning at the place where my friend spent her last moments of life. I will do this in solitude and just grieve. Then this weekend I will be with Kim in Michigan. Hopefully helping her find a place to live and just being with her. Honestly, if I could go there for a few more days I totally would. Just to be there for her and to let her know she is not alone, and is not meant to be alone in this world. We were created to live in community, to be there for one another, to love and cherish the time we spend together, and sometimes we all take that time for granted.